this is why i get so anxious and worked up when i say "i have to go." i can't believe i missed her by a mere few minutes. 

Is there a correct way to be angry?

i am a bitch.

i feel that i am happier knowing alan went through the trouble getting me these nice hair clips now than i did back when he gave me them to me. i was happy and very flattered then, but now i have the insatiable urge to hug him. he must of spent so much time making sure he gets the right ones. i remember him telling me that there were a lot of ugly ones. these are special because he probably found the cutest ones in the store. i wish i can get him something back. he probably wouldn't accept anything from me right now. im a horrible person. what a stupid girl i am! i wish i had some girl friends.

things to do to improve your mood:
1. help people 
today angelina texted me. at first i was very annoyed that it wasn't alan texting, but then i saw that she was having another bad day. she told me she was lonely, and since i was lonely too, i understood. if i thought this entire morning was unbearingly dull, i can't imagine how she can feel like this every day. so we logged on oovoo and we talked. somehow, giving advice had the same effect as venting. i guess i remember why i used to looove giving people advice. i was always kind of a nut... in another note, this time i decided to be a lot more firm with my advice. i hope i got her thinking.
2. talk to family
-shrug- i dunno. it worked. i like being around my grandma. she makes my chest swell up with admiration and love
3. clean
i didnt get to clean my room much, but i think i'd be a lot happier in a cleaner environment. like the library or alans room. clutter stresses me out!
4. anatomy homework
or rather, reading/studying something interesting
5. go outside
i wish i took halo out for a walk to the park this morning so i could see the easter festivities. i was too bummed out to move an inch, but i should have forced myself to. it was a nice day.
6. food
i made some foodies today. i didn't want to eat it though, and thats not because i made it out of random things i found in the fridge! its not a waste when you have a big family of guinea pigs.
7. set a goal, get productive 
writing in my xanga made me feel better. i have more, but im going to log off and resume homework now. maybe next time when i'm feeling like a nincompoop again.

i found a moltres

i remember a few years ago i used to bike until my legs were sore, for hours at a time. i dont know how i did it almost every day, but i did it today. it was like i used to have the energy of ten heart broken women. or maybe im just getting old. i just got home, but im still feeling restless. im going to bake some fucking apple cinnamon muffins, and i refuse to eat any of them! 

i dont feel like i can do anything anymore. i cant even summon the energy to close the window as i hide in my blanket-cave like a deep water fish. i just lie here on my bed with my face burried in your jacket. this jacket that natasha kept for so long. your ex. shit, its six thirty already. i dont want the day to start.